hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize