How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
