Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Will you blow on my dice?
Umm I'm too high to move.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
