he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
my liver is dry heaving
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
