I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
