omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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