dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
