Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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