Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
