Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
