You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Your cock deserves a montage
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
