Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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