I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
