I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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