woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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