thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
