if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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