doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
