She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
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He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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