When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize