so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
