so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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