Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
