Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's rum buckets o'clock
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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