Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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