Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
