I want to make a zoo with you.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
