Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
