i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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