Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
