Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on