you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets