Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
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She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
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I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.