I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
