yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.