Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.