So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize