I wannas sexs uuuuu
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
