she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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