member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
