it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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