I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
