Having a random hookup so left but love u
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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