you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
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So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
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Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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