if you like me you must not know who I am
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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