Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We're too hungover to prance.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
