Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
