You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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