found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
