You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
