By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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