Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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