So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
