just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
