I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize