If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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