oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
