You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
