You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
