so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
