i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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