Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize