i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
