we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
