You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
