Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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