I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
