Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
