...so i touched it.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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