there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
