Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
4 words: hood of his car
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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