do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
