i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
